Seeking a non-tard nation

I've generally kept up with American politics since I've been here, but the news is typically about one windbag throwing cheap shots at another. I've begun to doubt my political interests (never in running for office mind you, just in the process and outcome and policies) . American politics seems so trite. Trite I cannot deal with. Then today, Yahoo gives me some little nuggets of news when I log into my email account. One of them is this "Texas voters add gay marriage ban to constitution." Um...what?!

There are so very many stupid aspects to this whole thing. 1) It's Texas. Texas should not exist. 2) They already had a dumb law about same-sex marriages. 3) They wanted to curb any, um COURT issues about the law, like...I dunno...taking away basic human rights. 4) Something like 75% of the voters voted for the thing. I come from a sad and insane nation.

Let me start with this: if I see "homosexual" in print any longer I will scream. Perhaps it's technically the right word, but it's sterile and formal. It's a word used by people not comfortable with the topic or associated issues. It is the 21st century version of "negro." Please, just STOP using it. Gay, lesbian, queer, LGBT community... whatever. There are so many better ways to talk about the issue.

The typical social liberal rant is something like "don't legislate what people do with other consenting adults." True and very valid. It's the heart of the issue really. I'll add two things to that 1) society should be encouraging committed relationships, not discouraging them and 2) queer unions, recognized or not, have had (and will continue to have) a profound impact on straight ones.

Depending on the source, the generally argument is that 40-50% of marriages end in divorce. Texas is among the highest. Many others fail to get married and many of those spend a lifetime bouncing from one short-term "commitment" to another. The union of two people, for richer and poorer, in sickness and in health till death do them part is becoming more rare. We're a mobile society - we move residences and jobs and relationships with ease. Rarely looking back at what we left behind. One jogger told me a neighbor asked him "what are you running to? Or are you running from something?" Our lives are something like this. People sticking around and making something work - taking the good with the bad, showing their full selves - is becoming more and more rare. It's a decline in the *gulp* morals of our society. Unions and community and working for something other than yourself should be valued and respected more. The fact that these threads may come in queer shades does not make them less valuable to the fabric of society. Historically, the diversity of the threads has even made us stronger.

Even though women have gotten more degrees and become more independent, by and large people still don't know what do to with that - this means men and women alike. Women have locked themselves into a public display of insisting that we are still feminine, even with a paycheck. Heels, makeup, cleavage, flirting when things get too serious, giggling at the right moments, tossing the hair. These are all back. They mean to say this: don't be threatened, I was just playing. Taking equality seriously has taken a backseat to playing the game and being "caught." I believe the term is backlash. Men bulk up, women slim down. Gender's become a caricature of the real thing. Balanced power and equality, especially in relationships, is hard work. It's better to be a leader or a follower and just work the role. Only those roles aren't very fulfilling and they're based on not fully knowing the other person - just accepting them as less or greater than you. While queer stereotypes lead people to think that there's a butch and a fem in every relationship, it's not always so. In fact, I know of no queer relationship where that's true. Long-term successful gay and lesbian relationships seem to be more based on seeking and finding an equal...sticking with the person and making the union work. A roleless connection. Imagine...

There are a few human rights issues in our time. This is one of them. By birth or by choice, it doesn't matter. A society needs all the goodness, commitment and compassion it can get. And then there's that whole "life, liberty and pursuit of happiness" thing, whatever that's about.