9:30, ugh

Suddenly it's 9:30 p.m and I don't know where the day went. I haven't sat down for a meal all day. Breakfast was while I was dealing with the internet guys who were here to fix the cable that the roofers cut yesterday (smooth move, guys). Lunch was in between jobs. Working. Emailing. Researching. Tutoring. Coffee date. 9:30.

This seems to be how my days go here and where I am and what I do in the day seem beyond my control. I plan to do so many things with the day and then...9:30. I want to read more and write more and study more and cook more and exercise more and keep in touch more. Where I find the time and how I do this... I have no idea.

I've always been one of those people who irrationally spend something ten times over. If you tell me you'll give me $100 (and please do) then, in my mind, I can somehow justify spending it several times. Your $100 will end up costing me $300. It occurs to me that this might be happening with my days. I've always thought that if I got 30 hrs for everyone else's 24 then I'd be ok. I just need to learn to hate sleep. To not need it. I just, you know, need to be superhuman. Then I'll be able to keep up with myself. Ugh.

So...I sit here with a hunger headache, a looming to-do list and an online group chat I'm supposed attend starting at...oh...3 a.m. Guess I can start that no sleeping thing now. Usually I'd just procrastinate.