To sleep, perchance to dream

Some days I miss America. OK, most days I do. But today is a total I-Miss-America Day. Some days it's about access to finer things like art and film. Some days it's about access to finer things to put in my mouth (er...that didn't come out right). Today is an odd reason: it's about having the freedom to be politically apathetic.

Now, for those in the know, you are aware that political apathy is not something I am typically accused of. I've been involved in political causes since I was quite young (once a friend and I went to an animal rights meeting and since we were too young to drive her mom took us - wearing a fur coat) and think that one of our greatest assets is the freedom to speak your mind and not fear repercussions.

I still believe that, but today I realized the value of living in a place where you don't need to be political. I work with a guy (actually, just one) who is a shy, new father and is seriously concerned about raising his daughter in Bulgaria. He's thinking of immigrating to England, if possible. He used to work at a mill but he speaks 3 languages so he got hired at the municipality to better utilize his talents, though he has university training in food and tourism. Whatever. The guy likes to work, but isn't being used at all. He's not really paid a wage that can raise a family. He sits all day in an office and doesn't do anything but think about what he can't do to make his life and his family's life better because he's underpaid to sit in an office and it's the best job he can find.

While this all just seems to point to a bad economy, in our discussion he talked a lot of wanting to find better work, but hating the system. It's been my experience with Bulgarians that if you want to fully know what the hell people are talking about you have to question and question some more, so I did. And he said that he hates political parties and he doesn't want to be aligned with them because they change leaders and focus too much, but that finding a job (even in the private sector) depends very heavily on your political party and the connections you have through that. As he gave examples and described it more and more, I realized that the country is functioning under the same party nepotism that it was under communism, only now it's a roulette of which one you should choose. It's no wonder people think back to the good ole days here.

In the States, there are millions of people who have no idea what is happening in the political world. It's often disheartening to recognize that and easy to assume it's the sign of a weak or failing democracy, but ...as golly gee as it may sound... it's a sign that we have something that's stable and responsible enough to leave us to our own devices. It's when government encroaches so much that the average person feels they have to get involved that's a problem. Or, here, when politics rules so much that you sign saying you are political, but keep your opinions to yourself - both wishing that you could be open about your true beliefs and wishing you didn't need to think about these things to have a healthy, stable life.

I saw a production of Hamlet tonight. Hamlet is a tale of many things including personal greed and conniving politics and their impact on a deeply feeling, thinking man. Bulgarians, I am told, have a special fondness for Hamlet. I wish it was because of the writing.